My Silent Tears Grasp Dependence
by Weird
Summary: What are you most afraid of? He never addressed the question as he never felt he needed to. The answer surprised Hiei, and he was forced to wonder where he went wrong...


Author: Weird/WeirdRei

Rating: PG-13 (Very little violence and no swearing)

Genre: General/Angst

Series: Yu Yu Hakusho

Summary: One shot, character introspective on Hiei and his relationships with the other team members.

A/N: I haven't had anyone beta read this fiction; that's kinda what I'm putting it on here for. Feel free to point out what you will. It's a bit long as well.

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters here. All characters and places (minus the Cave of Reflections) are credited to Yoshihiro Togashi. The title is an alternation of one of the lyrics of "Dark Side Stories."

**My Silent Tears Grasp Dependence **

_"A thing that's even sadder than loneliness _

_Is not realizing that loneliness." _

_Kuchibue ga Kikoeru _

_What are you most afraid of?_

Hiei glared at the darkness, eyes darting over the area in search of the disembodied voice. Last he remembered, he was in Koenma's office, getting the details on some random assignment the Prince wanted him to complete. And now…just solid black all around.

And he did mean solid. When Hiei first opened his eyes to find himself here, he had tried escaping. First up, then right, left, forwards, and back. Even the floor had no openings or holes. By his calculations, he was in some sort of box, about three meters wide, long, and tall. He had no idea how long he had been there, but the fact that he was starting to hear voices never meant anything good.

_What are you most afraid of?_

"Where am I?" he asked for the third time since the darkness surrounded him. "Who are you? And what do you want with me?"

_What are you most-_

"Shut up!" Hiei withdrew his sword, slashing at thin air. He had already tried the walls, and their refusal to budge simply made him that much more angry. "Why do you keep asking that!"

Silence. Hiei glared at the nothingness before him. Well at least he made the speaker quiet; that was a start. Though now he feared he would get no answers whatsoever. And truthfully, though he wasn't afraid of the dark or tight spaces, the thought of being trapped in a small box with no light, no sound, and only a precious amount of air made Hiei extremely uncomfortable.

But the discomfort didn't last for long. Bandaged hands swiftly moved before his eyes as Hiei barely managed to retain his eyesight. The suddenly change from stark black to bright white would have blinded anyone unprepared.

It wasn't just the colors that changed. With his eyes covered, Hiei couldn't see what was before him. But he could feel the surrounding temperature drop to freezing. The smell of clean, frozen earth replaced the stale air, and the wind around him suddenly picked up, whipping the young man's clothing around his body. Within the whirlwind were droplets of cold that turned to water as they touched his skin.

Driven by curiosity and impatience, Hiei finally deemed it safe enough to chance a look, and when he did, he was so surprised that his arms simply fell to his sides.

He was home.

Well, as home as you could be when you had been tossed out, literally, from it. The Island of the Koorimes wasn't exactly a place Hiei could expect to be welcomed, but it was the land from which he originated. It held his mother, his sister, and all they were related to. He had started here, and despite the bitterness he should hold to all who inhabited the island, a part of him forever existed in this frozen wasteland.

He was still suspicious, however. Hiei was no fool; he knew better than to simply accept the fact that he had suddenly been transported to this place from a black prison. Something was going on, and he intended to get to the bottom of this matter.

Snow crunched underfoot as Hiei slowly walked forward four meters. Ok, so this wasn't simply some outward projection. Which either meant someone was in his mind, he had fallen through a portal, or he had been knocked unconscious and transported to this place. Given that he never remembered falling through a portal, options one and three were the most likely. Had he been unconscious, however, he should have woken up here instead of simply_ being_ here from the previous place, and a bruise should be on his head from the blow or his arm from some drug.

His ki detected no foreign presence in the area. So either he had arrived here by some means unknown to him, or the person toying with his mind had far greater abilities than himself. Neither option was favorable.

However, standing around wasn't going to solve anything. Hiei began to walk forward towards barely visible outlines in the distance. His Jagan told him there was no life ahead, and as he arrived, he realized why. The objects blurred by the flailing snow were markers. He was in a graveyard.

The last time he had been here had not been exactly a warm welcome. It was the first and only time he had gone to the island after his exile. Rui had taken him to his mother's grave when he inquired about her. His impeccable memory led his feet to back to her…

…or at least would have. If she were still there.

Hiei's breath caught in his throat at seeing the empty spot of earth. She was gone. But this spot was where she was supposed to be. There wasn't any doubt in his mind that this was the area. The other markers, the landscape, and everything else were as they should have been. What had they done with his mother!

The snow that twisted in the wind melted and evaporated inches before hitting Hiei. He was literally burning with anger. The Koorime must have moved her. They had dishonored her grave! How dare those females! He would go into their city and-

"Stop! Please stop!" Hiei's head whipped to the side to search for the place that voice had come from. The blizzard continued to block his vision, making it impossible to see anything inches from his face. The fact that his temper had cooled, allowing the flakes to come back into contact with his skin didn't help. But that voice. He knew that voice.

As fast as his legs would allow, Hiei rushed in the direction of the shouting. The blizzard began to lighten, providing better visibility. The area around him narrowed and ascended. He was going up, up to the top of a cliff. His stomach knotted as the surroundings became increasingly familiar. This was the place he had been thrown off. It was the start of his rejection from life.

Forms became visible before him, and Hiei slid to a halt as he realized what he was viewing. Before him stood his mother, held back by two of her companions. Hina was crying, screaming, pleading with all present. "Please don't kill him! It's not his fault!" she yelled to the council elders. All her shouting was ignored.

An outsider this time, Hiei watched as Rui spoke to a small cocoon of wards within her arms. The wind was too strong to hear anything than the screams of his mother, but he knew what she was saying to that child up there. With a final, sorrowful glance at the bundle, she dropped the child Hiei off the island.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

It was as if he had been slapped. Hiei suddenly jerked forward, driven by his mother's screams as she watched her son fall. He rushed to the edge of the cliff and jumped off, chasing after his fallen self. If only he could catch the bundle. Then maybe, somehow, he could help the child. He could stop the bandits from finding the little baby. He could…he could…what could he do? What could he do to stop this?

The bundle twisted around, and Hiei found he was staring at himself as they both fell. The look on the child's face was sadistically happy.

_So that's what you're afraid of._

Hiei sat up, screaming as the fragments of the dream still grasped at him. The world slowly came into focus, and his senses returned along with reality. It had all been a nightmare. A bad dream. He had had memory dreams before, but nothing like that, not where he watched helplessly as the events progressed.

Needless to say, he hadn't enjoyed the experience.

"So that's what the mighty Hiei is afraid of."

Muscles tensed as the known voice continued to talk. "Bad dreams?" Hiei turned to look up at the speaker. Yuusuke just stared down at him, an unimpressed expression on his face. Confused, Hiei began to look at his surroundings. The light was dim, but with trained vision, he was able to make out the solid walls, misshapen ceiling, and rock hard ground that all lead to the inevitable conclusion that they were in a cave of sorts. Water dripped from some unknown source further among the tunnels. Hiei had no idea how he ended up there or which direction would let him out.

"What's going on detective?" he demanded, sitting up gingerly. His muscles were sore, aching from the memory of his dream. "Why are we here?"

"You're here for the trial, remember?" Hiei quickly turned towards the source, managing to only wince at the sharp pain it caused. Koenma appeared from the shadows, taller than Hiei as the prince was currently in his borrowed teenage form. The added height helped to add to the glorified pretense he was clearly trying to pull off, though Hiei was hardly one to be impressed by another's height.

The thing that did surprise him was that Hiei had not felt the prince's presence prior towards hearing his voice. Hiei was always alert, and his Jagan sensed any impending threats. Why not this one?

He frowned at Koenma's statement, focusing on that for the moment. "Trial?"

"Yeah." Yuusuke leaned back against the wall. Hiei didn't like the look in the teen's eyes. It was if Yuusuke was angry or even disgusted with him. It wasn't Yuusuke's normal demeanor. Something had happened while he was out. "Koenma brought all of us, you, me, Kurama, and Kuwabara, up here. Genkai suggested it as a test for the four of us."

As he finally stood, Hiei looked around for Kuwabara and Kurama, but they were both currently absent. Perhaps they were still undergoing the trial then or had yet to undergo it. "And what did this test consist of?" he asked Yuusuke when the teen didn't continue.

"This is called 'The Reflection Cave,'" Koenma spoke up. "You put someone to sleep in this cave, and their dreams are reflected for all present to see. All you have to do is ask the person the right question, and their dreams will tell you the answer."

Hiei's eyes widened as Koenma's words led him to the conclusion of what had taken place. They had somehow tricked him into falling asleep and…and…

"You wanted to know my greatest fear?" he snarled, defensive at their obtrusive actions. "I have no such fears to hide from the likes of you! You should've have asked instead of resorting to this trickery!"

"Looks like that dream scared the brains out of you as well as your wits," Yuusuke snidely retorted behind him. Hiei turned, half ready to bite the teen's head off and half curious as to what he meant. "You volunteered to go first when Kuwabara called you a chicken and made faces at you. You said your fears were 'trivial and didn't matter.' Genkai brought us up here so we could all watch each other's fears and help each other through them. Some stupid trust thing."

What was going on here? Yuusuke's tone was dark, haughty, almost as if he were talking to some bug or a dog rather than his teammate. It wasn't the flippant attitude so characteristic of him at all, and Hiei was feeling uneasy because of it.

"Where are Kurama and Kuwabara then?" he asked carefully.

Yuusuke sneered. "Both left immediately after the dream stopped. Not that I can blame them or anything. I'm practically sick just standing next to you."

That last sentence was wrong. It was wrong. Something was wrong! Hiei stared, mouth hanging open in disbelief. "What did you just say?" he finally choked out.

The laughter coming from Yuusuke wasn't playful as Hiei had been expecting. So it hadn't been some joke. This was real. "What, can't you hear right you freak? Man, all this time I thought you were worth something. But your own mother didn't even love you. Talk about pathetic."

He began laughing again, that horrible laughter that was at Hiei's expense. Hiei's fist clenched in anger. How dare he! How dare Yuusuke even talk about things he had no idea about! Hiei's mother had loved him…hadn't she?

A second voice accompanied Yuusuke's as Koenma joined in on the joke. They were laughing at him. Laughing at how pitiful he had been as a child. At how his temper was flaring as he was unable to take their mocking. Well he wouldn't just stand there and let them have their fun.

Screaming in anger, Hiei rushed forward to punch Yuusuke. But his feet didn't move quite right, and his fist wasn't going nearly as fast as he wanted it. Where had all his ki and speed gone? Yuusuke smirked as he watched the pitiful attack come towards him, quickly dodging. Hiei was still able to see the afterimage of that ghostly face as he felt the detective's leg against his back. He hit the wall, face first and hard, then fell like a broken toy to the floor of the cave.

"See Koenma?" Yuusuke sneered down as Hiei attempted to climb to his feet. "He really is worthless. I should have just killed him that first day. Why'd you even bother giving him a second chance?"

Koenma walked over to stand next to Yuusuke. "He was useful enough for what we needed him for. But now that he's served his purpose, he's no better than used garbage." The prince walked out towards what had to be the mouth of the cave. "Have what fun you want with him Yuusuke," he called, waving back. "The projection sapped all of his energy."

A low growl rumbled from Hiei's throat as he watched Koenma's retreating form. It was abruptly stopped as a hard kick to his stomach sent the fire youkai back into the wall. Cold hands clasped around his throat before he was allowed to slide down this time. One eye opened so Hiei could glare at his torturer.

Yuusuke's eyes were gleaming with malice. "This should be fun, right freak?"

Helpless. That was not a word Hiei would have ever thought he could apply to himself. But he was so helpless against Yuusuke's will. The detective continued to beat him, kicking and punching with those ki-charged fists while Hiei's energy drained body could do nothing but take the punishment.

But far worse than the hits were the words. "Freak" was the frequent favorite with "useless" or "pitiful" not far behind. Each hit was followed by some demeaning phrase, enough to bruise his ego as Yuusuke bloodied his body.

Another kick, this one harsher than the rest, was delivered to his midsection. Hiei tucked his body in to make the roll across the rock floor less painful. When he finally stopped, he realized that his body was on a softer surface than before. He pulled his head out from behind his arms, only to squint at the few scattered rays of light making it through the trees above. After taking a quick look around, Hiei saw he had landed outside the cave.

"Hey freak! Where'd you go!" Yuusuke's voice echoed behind him, still within that horrible place. With speed and strength he didn't realize he had, Hiei stood and began to hurriedly stumble away. He didn't care if he was running from a fight; this was not something he could win. He would come back for his vengeance later.

Freedom was short lived however. Yuusuke appeared in front of him again before Hiei was able to get two feet from his landing spot. "Miss me?" the teen asked, grabbing the front of Hiei's shirt and pulling his fist back again. Hiei prepared himself for yet another punch.

"Urameshi!"

Yuusuke's attack stopped as he turned around to look at who had called to him. It started to sink in for Hiei, the depths of humiliation he had been forced into, when he realized he was relieved to see Kuwabara running at top speed towards them. Right now that pitiful excuse of a fighter was his only hope.

The detective was right. He really was pathetic.

Kuwabara slowed as he came near, a curious look on his face. "Hey Urameshi, what're you doing?" he asked as he looked over Hiei. The fire youkai's pants and shirt were torn to rags, open cuts and scrapes leaking blood over the bruises that covered him. A slight frown appeared on Kuwabara's face. "Wow, he's hurt pretty bad."

To show indifference, Yuusuke nonchalantly shrugged as he dropped the beaten youkai to the ground. "You want a turn? He's beginning to bore me."

Hiei was expecting the larger teen to be shocked, outraged, and even defensive over him. Kuwabara's honor code and friendship with Yuusuke wouldn't let him just stand by and watch as the detective hurt one of their comrades. Perhaps he and Hiei didn't get along, but the two had fought side by side in many battles. They were teammates, and that meant something to Kuwabara.

Kuwabara shook his head. "Naw, you can finish him if you want."

The surprise of that calm sentence didn't hurt as much as Yuusuke's punches, but it was still a blow, and it stung.

"I got sick and tired of his attitude awhile back," Kuwabara continued. "I'm just glad that dream thing gave Koenma an excuse to let us get rid of him already."

Hiei rose to a bent over position, hands and arms trembling as they attempted to hold him a few inches from the dry leaves. He stared at the ground as he listened to them talk about him. It was as if he didn't exist, as if he didn't matter, wasn't there to hear their condescending tones and mocking words. It was like Koenma had said before. He was garbage that needed to be taken care of.

"Hey freak!" Yuusuke was yelling at him. Hiei closed his eyes in an effort to block him out. "Hey freak! Can you hear me? Look up already freak."

Somehow he found the strength to stand. Hiei's legs shook as they attempted to bear his weight, but he didn't fall. Slowly his eyes opened as he glared at the two traitors. "That is not my name," he said vehemently.

That voice had sent thousands running, but the two before him merely grinned in amusement. Hiei remained cool as he watched Yuusuke slowly walk over. He knew what was going to happen. Inside he was boiling with anger. Anger at Kuwabara for not sticking to his honor code. Anger at Koenma for taking him to that cave. Anger at Yuusuke for betraying him.

But mostly…mostly he was angry at himself for being so weak as to allow this to happen in the first place. And it wasn't that he was just weak physically. No, the fact was that the physical pain didn't hurt so much as the people who were delivering it. He had been weak enough to place his trust in these two, believing them to be his companions if nothing else. The fact that he was hurt by their betrayal showed just how much he trusted them.

When Yuusuke came within striking range, Hiei attempted to dodge around and kick the detective. Once again he was too slow and only received a punch to the gut for his effort. He fell to the ground, holding his abdomen and gasping for breath.

"We have a present for you freak," Yuusuke said, watching as his opponent regained some of his breath.

"I told you my name-" Hiei's words died as he looked past Kuwabara and Yuusuke to a figure standing just behind the former. The small girl peeked out from behind her broad protector, watching the scene with cold eyes.

_She_ was here. "Yukina…" Hiei whispered. Her name was like a secret not to be told when it came from his lips; a forbidden treasure never to be reached.

She turned her face away from him, staring at the clearing to the side. Unresponsive. Ashamed.

"He is not my brother." Yukina shook her head. Tears began to fall from her eyes, soft pattering sounds made as the hard gems hit the leaves below. "It's all a lie!"

She knew! They must have told her. Desperately, Hiei searched her face for any signs of love or recognition. Kuwabara got in his way, walking over to hold her as she continued to weep.

"Yukina, I…" Hiei tried, not knowing what to say. What could he say? What did she want him to say? What was going on here? Why was she weeping? Too many questions where racing in his head, and the answers to most of them were things Hiei didn't want to think about. "Yukina-"

Her sobbing voice came out of the folds of Kuwbara's jacket. "You should have died when they threw you off the cliff."

Why wasn't he dying? Hiei could not, for one minute, understand why he was not dying. A rod of ice had just been shoved through his chest, freezing him with the rough cold of its edges. He sat there, waiting to feel blood running down his stomach, soaking into his pants and pooling around his legs.

He was stunned beyond movement. And when Yuusuke's fist came straight towards his face, Hiei didn't attempt to dodge. He just allowed himself to fall over and leave the reality that had let him down yet again.

_Hiei. Hiei wake up._

It was cold again. But that was to be expected. He was dead after all, was he not? Death by the icy words of his own sister. As illogical as it sounded, Hiei simply accepted the fact. Everything else had fallen so irreversibly, unsystematically out of place. Why shouldn't he have died of cold words?

"Hiei, get up." He opened his eyes slowly, not wanting to wake and face the world. He was tired of life already. Tired of this life. Of the rejection and the humiliation. It was all a constant struggle to be the most powerful; that was the only thing that defined him. But he had been proven to be powerless, and now nothing was left.

A blurry figure slowly came into focus as Hiei regained his bearings. A smaller man, maybe a few inches taller than himself with long black hair, red eyes…

Hiei sat up quickly. Could it be? He stared in awe at the man standing over him. It was an almost identical twin of himself, only this person was older and had slightly darker skin. It was always how Hiei had imagined him.

"Hello Hiei," the deep voice said. The man's smile was warm, and his gaze fond. Hiei had a thousand things he wanted to say, he had planned to say to this man, but he was only able to choke out one word.

"Father."

The man frowned, confusion replacing the affection. "Hiei?" The voice coming from the man was no longer so deep. In fact, it was familiar, a voice that Hiei had heard time and time again. Hiei blinked in surprise, and during the time it took to do that simple reflex, the owner of that voice had taken the place of his father.

"Hiei, what did you say?" Kurama asked. Instead of replying, Hiei ignored his friend and looked around, searching for where his father could have gone. Once again he was in a barren land, covered with snow, only this terrain he didn't recognize. The wind had died down, but a light snow was beginning to fall. His father was nowhere in sight.

Just a ghost of his imagination. Hiei sighed, disappointed. Another dream to taunt him.

Wait. Dream?

"Kurama?" he asked, looking up at his friend. His body still ached from the beating Yuusuke had given. "What happened to the others? I thought they were going to kill me."

"They were." Kurama held out a hand, and Hiei warily took it, looking up into his friend's eyes. They held pity for the person before them - for him - and Hiei began to feel a part of his shattered mentality rebuilding itself. He knew Kurama would never abandon him.

Hiei was pulled to his feet. Snow clung to his shredded clothing, and he did his best to remove it to remain somewhat warm. When he looked back up, he saw that Kurama had begun to walk away from him. "Kurama, wait." The teen stopped, turning his head back to listen to the fire youkai. "How did I get here? How did you find me? What happened to my sister?"

Instead of answering right away, Kurama resumed walking forward. "Follow me, and I'll answer all your questions Hiei," he calmly said.

They walked along the frozen landscape for what seemed like hours, the smaller lagging behind his companion. As he lacked proper ki and clothing, Hiei began to quickly freeze. Kurama had dressed appropriately for the weather and had no troubles. Every time Hiei would stumble or fall due to cold limbs, or anytime he began to nod off, Kurama would merely turn back and tell him to keep moving. "It's only a little further," he would say as the fire youkai struggled to his feet yet again.

Just when Hiei thought this would be it, the final fall where he would never again rise, Kurama stopped. The snow was falling heavily now, large, blizzard-like flakes clumping together before they even reached the ground. Kurama's hair was coated in the white snow, adding an innocence to his features.

"Everyone rejected you Hiei," he said staring at the space before him instead of turning to look back at the one he was addressing. "Yuusuke would kill you if you tried to go back, Kuwabara would help, and Yukina would be happy with you gone."

Hiei stared at the ground, hugging his arms to himself in more than just an attempt to keep warm. Yes, he knew. It had been just like he imagined it. Hiei remembered spending nights wondering what would happen if anyone found out about his past. This was all expected. But it was ok. Rejection was inevitable in his life.

"Perhaps it would be better if I just died," he said angrily, fingers digging into his arms. "Then they would all be happy."

"Do you really believe that Hiei?" Kurama asked. Hiei suddenly felt very strange. A warning was resounding through him. Something had been wrong about that question. Kurama hadn't been patronizing him or trying to change his mind. It was if the fox really wanted to know, as if it would be ok if Hiei believed it.

He stared at his friend's back. "Kurama, what's going on?"

The softly falling snow was the only sound for the next few moments. A wind began to pick up, and Hiei watched the snowflakes untangle themselves from the swaying red hair. Slowly, Kurama turned around to look at him.

"It would be better if you believed that Hiei." There was no anger or hatred in Kurama's eyes. Just disappointment and annoyance.

Hiei took a step back. "Kurama?"

Snow crunched underfoot as Kurama walked towards him, that same calm, detached gaze trained on Hiei. It was the gaze of Kurama in battle, when he was dealing with his enemies. It was the gaze of Youko. No fear, no worry, no anger. No compassion. Just a job to be done.

"Yukina said it best. You should have died when you were thrown off the cliff." Hiei found himself unintentionally backing away as Kurama continued to approach him.

"What are you saying!" Hiei yelled. He should fight back. He should do anything other than retreat like this. But he was powerless and being attacked ruthlessly, over and over again. It wasn't even what Kurama was saying. It was that look in his eyes. Hiei was no longer a person to his friend. He was just an inconvenience.

Kurama no longer cared about him.

"You should be quivering in fear," Kurama softly said, stopping his approach suddenly. "Or haven't you noticed where you stand?"

The wind suddenly picked up into strong gusts, and Hiei found himself barely keeping his footing. Looking around, he realized why. Kurama had backed him to the edge of a high cliff. _That_ high cliff.

How had he not noticed it? How had he known he was home?

His legs finally gave out, and Hiei sank to his knees, body trembling in terror. As a child it was not so bad. He had no one to hold on to from the start. But now…

…his friends…

…his family…

…everything was gone.

Arms wrapped around his cold body and pulled him close. Kurama's hug was not affectionate. The gesture was just as mocking as Yuusuke's laugh. False comfort. A predator merely toying with its prey before the final kill. Despite knowing this, Hiei didn't pull or push away. He just let himself be held as Kurama's breath warmed his ear.

"Kurama?" he asked. "Kurama, why?"

An annoyed sigh sent shivers up Hiei's spine. "It will end where it began," Kurama whispered. Those fake arms pulled away. "This world has no place for a Forbidden Child."

Hiei barely felt the rough shove, and then he was falling. He stared up at the sky, watching submissively as Kurama's face became smaller and smaller until it faded out of view. It would take a few more minutes before he hit the ground. He knew. And this time, he didn't expect to survive.

A sharp upward wind twisted his body around, allowing him to watch the earth below as it and his demise came closer. But there was something else. A small speck falling as well, not as fast as him, but much further away. It seemed to be a rock of some sort or a bird's egg.

_Hiei!_

Eventually the speck became a definitive shape. It was a white diamond. Then the diamond's edges rounded into a cocoon. The cocoon began to form into bunches of wards, and two eyes peered out. Hiei's own eyes widened as he realized what he was seeing.

_It's not working!_

He was more than an arm's length away from the baby before it sped up to match his speed. Try as he might, Hiei couldn't reach it. One warded arm shot out, grasping at air as he kept trying to catch the baby. If he could get the child, he could save it from this fall.

_Hiei! Hiei answer me!_

The baby looked up at him, smiling sadistically. And then it spoke to him, taunting.

"You will never be able to catch me."

_Is this really what he's afraid of?_

Hiei sat up, gasping and shaking. He looked around, frightened, not knowing what to expect this time around. The Koorime landscape again? The bandit's den? What? What would be here to haunt him?

"Hiei." Kurama was kneeling beside him. A relieved look was on his face. "Thank goodness. We were afraid you would never wake up."

Confused, Hiei took a minute to take in his surroundings. The rock walls and dim lighting. It was the Cave of Reflections. But he had already gone through that. Hadn't he? What was Kurama looking so relieved about? Wasn't he supposed to be on the Koorime island?

"Hiei? Hey, you ok?" He looked up, eyes widening as Yuusuke started coming towards him. Hiei tried to scramble to his feet to defend himself, but his body was still too weak to make it up. He ended up falling down, resorting to backing away at top speed.

A hand grabbed his wrist firmly, and Hiei found himself stuck. "Yuusuke, stay back. Remember what we just saw?" The teen retreated against the wall at Kurama's order, a disheartened expression on his face. Kurama continued to hold Hiei still. He seemed upset to see the frightened look in the youkai's eyes.

"Hiei, you remember what Koenma said about why we came here and what this place did, right?" Kurama asked, catching Hiei's eyes with his own, trying to keep his friend calm. "We're here to show each other our fears so we can build trust and help each other confront them."

Afraid he was being tricked yet again, Hiei cautiously nodded.

"Hiei, that entire part where you woke up in this cave and we all hurt you…well, _that_ was the fear. Yuusuke never hit you, and I never pushed you off that cliff. It was all just a dream," Kurama told him. "Just a very, _very_ bad dream."

He had to pause to soak it in. Looking up at Yuusuke, Hiei saw no malice or laughter in his eyes. In fact, the detective looked concerned and a little fearful. Like he was upset that Hiei would be afraid of him.

"It was all…" Hiei hadn't even realized how bad he was shaking until he started to calm down. "And Yukina?" he asked, looking at Kurama.

Kurama's reassuring smile put him a little more at ease, enough so that the youko could pull his hand away from Hiei's wrist. "Safely at Genkai's, oblivious to any of this. Kuwabara ran outside to grab Koenma incase you were wondering. We had a hard time waking you up."

"Hey, you got him out of it!" Everyone looked over as Kuwabara ran over to the group, Koenma trotting behind him. The large teen knelt in front of Hiei, looking the small guy over. "Hey man, you look pretty bad," he said frowning.

As if he needed Kuwabara to tell him. Hiei felt sick, his body still barely trembling as he sat there, staring at the ground. All the anxiety left him nauseous, and his clothing clung to his body from the sweat that soaked the black cloth. He was weakened, muscles just finally getting to relax after hours of tensing in fear. It was as if he had actually been ill.

He had just experience his worst fear. And now not only had he had to face that, he now had to face what his fear was. The answer had been completely unexpected. After all, the only way he could be afraid of rejection was if he needed acceptance.

All this time, he had been _depending_ on the others to keep him sane.

"Hey Hiei?" Kuwabara tried again when he didn't get a response. Hiei had left them, eyes now blank as they stared down at nothing. He didn't want to be near them now. They knew. That was the worst part about this experience. The three standing around him knew just how much he relied on them.

Kurama shook his head. "Leave him alone Kuwabara," he said quietly. "Let's go back to Genkai's for now. We need to work through this first problem before we can continue with our own."

"What about Hiei?" Yuusuke spoke up from his position still against the far wall. "He doesn't look like he can walk on his own."

"I will assist him," Kurama replied. "You three go on ahead."

The others nodded and left the cave, leaving them alone for the time being. Kurama stood up and went over to Hiei, holding out a hand. Taken out of his trance, Hiei just stared at the hand for a moment as if it had been put there to hurt him. His gaze traveled up Kurama's arm to his face.

The doubt in his eyes hurt Kurama; Hiei could see that as he looked at him. But he didn't know how to fix it. How could he trust the person who had just pushed him off that cliff?

How could he afford to let Kurama trust him?

Hiei continued to stare at him, so Kurama took the initiative. He bent down and wrapped an arm around Hiei's shoulders, lifting him to the point of where the balls of the shorter's feet barely touched the ground. It meant having to stoop over as he walked, but Kurama didn't seem to mind.

"Be strong my friend," Hiei heard him say as they headed out. "I'll make sure you don't lose this fight. I promise you that."

Kurama turned his head to look at his friend. The determination on the youko's face flustered Hiei, surprised him, and for a moment he didn't know what to say. Accepting help from someone? He wasn't sure he could do that.

"Don't look at me like that," he said, turning his face away. Kurama sighed and hitched Hiei a bit up to get a better hold of him. Together the two stumbled down the broken paths, one leaning heavily on the other, to where family and friends waited for their arrival.


End file.
